January is always a solemn month for me. All the HYPE is gone from the holidays. Decorations are put away, which I love. I can only take Christmas clutter so long before I feel crowded. I usually have a few pounds to loose, ( CRAP why did I eat all those yummy No No's?) and the cleaning and organizing begins. It takes a week or so to get in the mood to DIG in which leads me to a fair amount of reflecting on my life and the past year. Usually I think "What emotional catastrophe is going to happen this year? Better get prepared cuz you know it's gunna happen."May sound a bit negative I know, however it's just one of those things that I can depend on. I've been reading some fun articles on friends, personalities and getting along with those friends with different personality traits. I was laying on my bed while reading and happened to look at my feet. I thought, "WOW you need a serious pedicure. I wonder who I could get to go with me?"
"I NEED A FRIEND" I thought. I'm sad to think that there is no one whom I could call on the spur of the moment to go do something, anything with!
I notice it more when I'm flipping through TV channels. And it's night time and the boys are off doing whatever they do with friends and my husband is reading a hunting magazine or watching hunting video's. I'm too restless to watch a movie or get lost in a book.
That's when I notice a big GAPING HOLE that cannot be filled with husbands, kids, blogging or working out. It can't be filled with spending weekends with my daughter and granddaughter.
It's the hole that, as much as I try, cannot be stuffed with family or friends that are miles away,
no matter how many e-mails I send or phone calls I share. I cannot fill it with food, parties,
hobbies or church activities.
I know because I've tried. And while I've made new memories and discovered new sources of joy, the original HOLE remains.
My toe nail polish is chipped and I miss having a friend. Not that I don't have female friends, but it's more than just another women to laugh with that I'm missing.
I miss the friend that drops by your house unannounced on any given night. Sometimes she stays
and visits for hours, or just stops to say HI. If your busy, they don't worry about it, they will
call you later, and they actually DO call back.
I miss the friend that drags all her kids over to your house and throws them in the back yard
to play before you have a chance to say hello, and her husband sits with your husband by the grill while the two of you swap stories on the latest events of family and friends. She stays forever because she enjoys your company.You know that you have to get up early to go to work the next morning but Hey, you still have to eat.
I miss the friend who can call you on the phone from work and ask you to go check on their dog
because he threw up on the floor and her husband put a bowl over the vomit because he has a weak stomach, and would you please clean it up so her house doesn't REEK.
And you do. And you don't feel inappropriate at calling her husband a wimp while your spraying the floor down with Resolve.
I miss the friendship that is easy even when it's work. The one that is part of your day and has long since passed the awkward insecure stage of calling only to set a lunch date.
The one you don' put make up on for.
The one that sees you without a bra and after a good cry.
The one that you can call on a Saturday morning because you feel like a pedicure and she says Okay. She has a lot to do so you part ways after the pedicure and go about your life and responsibilities and It's NO BIG DEAL! Until it is.
Until you don't have that in your life and then some days it's the BIGGEST DEAL in the world~
Like when your polish is CHIPPED
